Another day in...TOUCHDOWN

Tomorrow should be the big day.  The day if I find out if the fate of my family will forever change. It is a very exciting time and I'm not going to jinx anything yet, so if it happens tomorrow, I will share the big news.

In the meantime I'll tell you all about my new way to sleep.

Yes, new way to sleep.

So apparently, when I'm sleeping these days, I end up on my back. That's not necessarily a good thing for me (or for Jodi) because I tend to snore (or breathe loudly) when I sleep that way. The funny thing is though, over the last couple weeks, I've apparently been doing yoga while I'm sleeping. I know that I've had dreams about doing ddpyoga but apparently the dreams are vivid enough that I'm actually doing the moves in my sleep. Specifically, touchdown.

At first I thought it was weird, but now I realize it is just funny.

I also find myself doing all kinds of poses in random parts of the day. If I'm laying on the floor just on the computer or watching TV, I usually inhale into cobra, then drop my head, lift my butt and take a step into down dog. It is funny how owning my life has kinda taken over my life haha.

Anyone else just find themselves just doing random stuff out of nowhere?

52

Alot of big changes coming up in my life to match the physical ones I've made over the last 52 days.

In case anyone was wondering, I'm not "off the wagon" so to speak, I'm just focusing on not only being the husband she deserves but also the father and family man they all deserve.

My blogs have lacked in content the last few days, but it hasnt changed my dedication to everything I committed to 53 days ago.

Once some of these kinks are worked out I will get the full update on here.

But no worries, I'm still BANGin.

Day 51

I have hit a plateau. They happen. I'm not working less hard, I'm not eating any differently, right now my body has just said "enough weight loss for now." I knew it was going to happen sometime, I didn't think quite this early, but for the last 7-10 days I've fluctuated between 223 and 228. Strangely, I'm ok with that. I guess because 51 days ago I was 252.

It isn't going to change how I go about things, it isn't going to change how hard I work. That, in my opinion is how I am going to get over this plateau.

Goals haven't changed, ways of going about it hasn't changed, and I'm confident the results will start back up.

For now, I'm stuck.

50

I've done this for 50 straight days. That's pretty darn cool.

50-1=49

11 days til the 60 day weigh in/pictures. In about eight minutes I leave for another eight hour shift after a 13 hour shift at my day job.

Worked out today, ate clean and worked my ass off at my day job, but nothing like I'll be doing tonight at my night job.  Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, because I'm tired.

Got nothing else tonight because I'm gonna spend my last seven minutes with my beautiful future wife.

Later.

48 days and counting

Today went just as expected.  Really enjoyed the time with Jodi and Sydney.  I don't get a lot of time at home these days and I just really wanted to enjoy it, so I did. Nutritionally I was right back where I was supposed to be.

I'm really starting to doubt that this blog even gets read, so I'm curious why I'm putting so much effort into it every day. I started it hoping to inspire others, but there is so little activity on the teamddpyoga site that I'm really not sure who is reading it. 

I'll continue to do it, daily, but I put a whole lot of time and effort, as well as creativity, into something that I'm not sure anyone is reading or appreciates. I hope I'm wrong, but as I said, I'm really not seeing much of anything, from anyone. For a site that likes to be said that it is a huge support site, I'm really not seeing that.....maybe it's just me.

Day 47

So, today I did everything I'm not "supposed" to.  I didn't work out. I drank alcohol and I ate a ton of stuff that was bad for me.  Not a single, solitary regret. We had a blast and I'll make it all up tomorrow and the next day. Every once in a while, in my opinion, I need a day like this. So, since I don't have anything to brag about DDPYoga wise, here is me and my amazing fiance and our awesome day!

Day 46 (I'm running out of snappy titles.)

So, I've known all along in this journey there were gonna be days that I didn't stick with the plan nutritionally. They'll be few and far between, but there will be days.  Tomorrow is one of them. Tomorrow, this Virginia boy who could care less about either team, will be headed to the Iowa State vs. Iowa game. I'll be tailgating starting early in the morning and I'll be drinking the majority of the day.

Jodi has been awesome enough to pack some nutritious snacks for me (have I ever mentioned how amazingly supportive she is) but I can tell you right now if our neighbor in our tailgating spot has a grill and offers, I WILL partake.

I worked out tonight and I'm gonna workout tomorrow, but I will be enjoying myself tomorrow once I get there.  It will be the first time in 46 days that I won't be worried about calories or anything of that nature. After the last two weeks I've had, I need it for my sanity.  I've been extremely hard on myself, I don't let up, I don't take breaks and I work my ass off. I need tomorrow. I will enjoy tomorrow.

Then, Sunday, I'll be right back to the program and right back to kickin' ass.

Look for some pictures during the day tomorrow, I have a feeling some will be funny. TeamDDPYoga may be replacing facebook for me.....I like you people more than most of my "friends."

45

Woke up.
Worked.
Ate.
Kicked ass. (Diamond cutter with zero modifications and zero unscheduled safety zones)
Watch my son play football.
Working again.
More ass kicking tomorrow.

44 days in.

16 days until the 60 day weigh in. The goal for this weigh in is 215, with a stretch goal of 210. 44 days ago I was at 252. 14 days ago I was at 232. Yesterday I was at 225. So my goal is 37 with a stretch of 42. That's with a couple (unplanned and unavoidable) days off in the week. It's not going to be easy. But I'm not going to change what I'm doing. I could easily "crash diet" the last five days and get to where I want to be.  But then I would just have the disappointment if some of it came back on. Plus, that's not totally what all this is about, it isn't all about weight loss. Granted, some of it is, but I'm going to keep doing exactly what I've been doing, because it's working. If I only get to 220, will I be disappointed?  Yes, I will, but that would still be 32 pounds in 60 days.  That's nothing to sneeze at. I'm ready for that scale to start with a 1. Even if it's 199.9, that's going to be huge for me. Mentally and physically. Seeing the 220's again was great for me. But instead of going "wow, I've lost almost 30 pounds in such a short time" I smiled quickly at the victory and moved on to the next chapter. The 210's.

I shouldn't be so impatient.  The results are there and will continue to be if I just keep doing what I'm doing (and trust me, I will) hell, I don't really have any clothes that fit anymore. Everything is too big, too baggy and just overall doesn't fit the way I like clothes to fit.  I sell clothes for a living, so I'm shocked my sales haven't declined because they look at me in my shirts that are too big and my pants that are bunching up and say "well, what the hell does he know?"

I already start to worry about maintaining once I get to where I want to be.  When I'm under 200 and have visible abs, how easy is it going to be for me to take a couple of days to "slack off?" That's why I'll just continue to set goal after goal after goal.  There isn't a finish line in this race, just checkpoints.

43-reality check.

The knee still hurts. It hurts bad. However, I've learned that I can take the pain. I've decided to remove my "ban" of certain moves in the workouts and will go back to doing them they way they were intended. It hurts, yes, it does, but the knee isn't weak, just in pain. I'm hoping the pain is temporary, because I'm not going to allow it to affect me any longer.  As a matter of fact, with the exception of follow ups when it comes to doctors, this will be the last time the knee is mentioned in this blog. I'm sick of it and I'm sure the few of you that read this are too.

I get asked all the time if I'm crazy. Not in a genuine insane asylum kind of way, but in the general way because of the way I do things. I don't have a filter from brain to mouth (or at least that's the rumor, I actually do, but I really don't believe in sugar coating things these days) I'm not intimidated by anyone regardless of their status, title or whatever they think makes them intimidating and I'm not afraid to tell anyone to "fuck off" whether figuratively or actually looking in their faces and telling them to fuck off. I've got a co-worker that thinks it's the best thing in the world and at least three times a week he posts things on facebook that have to do with me telling people to fuck off or saying that I'm an asshole and proud of it. I truthfully think that my brutal honesty is sometimes mistaken for being an asshole.  In today's world where everyone gets a trophy for participating, I just don't believe in that kind of crap. I still believe in separating the winners from the losers. I also don't really take a lot of shit from people, unless I know it will end up biting them in the end and they will end up screwing themselves without me having to do anything.

The point of all this is, I've tried to keep that brutal honesty off of teamddpyoga. I'm one of the first to go to someone's post and give a word of encouragement or a pat on the back. Which, I think is good. I think there are people out there that need that. I think it is what inspires them to keep going, "someone noticed me and said I was doing good, I'm gonna try even harder tomorrow." And that's great for them. But what about the "woe is me" people?  The ones who seem to have an excuse every day? I've had to log off of the page several times, especially in the last week or so, because there seems to be an influx of people with one excuse or another. What they're looking for is the pat on the back with someone saying "it's gonna be okay, you're still trying, you'll do better tomorrow." That's not really my style. And I don't think that's really what's effective in motivating someone, sometimes they just need some good God damned brutal honesty. The problem is, in today's world and especially with some folks fragile mental states, they can't take it.  They'll say they're being judged (of course you are, you are talking about everything you do on the internet and posting pictures about it, if you don't think you're going to be judge you're naive too) or that someone is being mean to them.  Honesty is not mean.  Honesty is the best thing you can do for someone. Honesty is what made you get off your ass and order the program.  Honesty is what made you take those six pictures.  Honesty is what made you do that first diamond dozen. Honesty with yourself. So why can't you take honesty from someone else?

Ah, I'm going off on a tangent here that probably spreads a lot further than just teamddpyoga. Sometimes I shoot off at the mouth (or in this case, fingers) and just keep going.  There's that "filter" I don't have.

But I can tell you this, if anyone who reads this blog that I put out daily and have for the last 43 days, catches me doing something I shouldn't or making excuses, I BEG you to call me out on it. You're not gonna get anything from me but a thank you. I weighed in at 225 today.  That's 27 pounds since day. 26 pounds away from my weight loss goal. So I'm over half way there.  And it's the honesty with myself that I've had on a daily basis that has gotten me there. And it will be that same honesty that will help me continue with my ongoing goals. Maybe there are a few of you out there that need a reality check. If I'm the one that gives it to you, I won't apologize for it, whether you thank me or not.

42

Got a funny story for ya in my short amount of time I have to write this before going to job 2.

This morning I overslept, Jodi had to call me to wake me up so I could get Piper up for school (she ended up not going, because she was sick) so I had to rush off to work. I was cussing myself on the way, because I thought, with today/tonight and tomorrow's schedule, there would be no way I'd be able to get a workout in.

Cussing, cussing, cussing on the way to work, then I realized, "wait, I've got the MP3s downloaded in my phone!!!"  So I got to work, took my tie off and busted out a Red Hot Core right there on the floor at work in my suit slacks and dress shirt. It was pretty awesome!!!

I've got nothin' else tonight, gotta go make some money!!!!

Keep on bangin!!!

41 days

Today almost felt normal again. Yeah, my knee is still screwed, but I didn't think about it this morning.  I woke up, worked out, had breakfast and went on about my day. I didn't hesitate, I didn't wonder "should I do this?" like I have for the last couple days, I just went back to the routine I had built before.  Wake up, kick ass, repeat.

Tomorrow is judgement day when it comes to my knee. I'm making one phone call to explain everything. If they move forward with the MRI, then fine, if they don't, then I'm just gonna deal with it. Is that the right thing? Probably not. But I'm a stubborn, southern SOB, so if I don't hear what I want to, I'm not gonna sit and piss and moan about it anymore. I'll just go forward, regardless of the consequences.

I'm seeing a lot of people on teamddpyoga that are getting frustrated and quitting. A lot of them are doing it after 30, 45, 60 days are more.  That's quite confusing to me. How to you dedicate yourself to something for an extended period of time and then just give up for no legit reason? I'm not judging, it just stinks to see people that I know have worked hard just call it quits because of who knows what.....I have no real point here, just rambling.

 I also have seen someone recently say that they put the work in for 30 straight days and have seen zero results, either on the scale or in inches.  That's impossible if you're doing what you say. If you're following the program both from the workout standpoint and the nutritional standpoint....how are you getting no results?  Something doesn't add up somewhere. I hope they get themselves on track and figure out where the first thirty days went wrong.

Tomorrow is going to be a long, long, long day. Day job at 9 am....leave there at 9pm, come home long enough to kiss my girls goodnight (if they're still up) and then head to the second job from 11pm until 7am. Maybe I'm nuts, but I don't care, it's just another one of those goals of mine...and I sure don't like missing goals.

40 days

If you do anything for 40 days, you deserve a pat on the back.

Yes, I've missed 2 days because of a knee injury, oh well, I've lost 25 pounds in 40 days, that's pretty good.

I'm exhausted, I've worked too much in the last 7 days, my fuckin' knee is killing me and I'm just wanting to see 199 on the scale (ps, I got the scale fixed today and I have lost exactly 25 pounds.)

I am tired, but damn it, I worked out today (fat burner with some modification [ie one legged pushups] due to injury) and I ate extremely well today.

I don't have a whole lot else to say tonight. And I'm sorry. I try to be entertaining with my blog, but I want to just spend time with my fiance, but I'm blogging because I feel like I have to.


Goodnight team ddpyoga, tomorrow will be more entertaining.

39-I've had enough.

So worker's comp won't cover my knee because they say insurance should cover it. Insurance won't cover it because they say worker's comp should. So guess who gets screwed......me.

Guess what, until one of them can figure it out, I'm just gonna work through the pain. I stopped before the last couple days because it hurt. Well, no one wants to fix me, I'm not going to let their incompetence make me get fat again because I can't workout.

I'm gonna be smart about it. There is a difference between uncomfortable pain and "I shouldnt be doing this" pain. I won't cross over into the latter.

Hell, DDPYOGA essentially helped a man walk/run again, what's a little knee tear?

So tomorrow morning, I'm back to every day. They don't want to help me, screw 'em, I'll help myself.

20.2 lbs in the first thirty days, I want that to be double by day 60. And by day 90, I want that scale (still haven't replaced ours by the way) to have a first number of 1. After 3 months, I no longer want to be a member of the 200lb club. Then, once I've made my weight, I want to sculpt. By day 120 I want to see abs. I want to see definition in my arms. I want to start looking the way I want to look.

You wanna talk about goals? BOOM, there's 3 for less than 3 months from now. None of that is going to happen if I let this knee (and incompetent assholes in insurance companies) get it my way.

Its my life, I'm gonna own the motherfu****!

Day 38-The Waiting is the hardest part (Imagine Tom Petty just sung that)

So, I hurt my knee Monday.  It's now Thursday.  I still have no clue what or how or when or any of that nonsense.  Worker's comp sucks, because there is so much red tape to go through to get anything done, it has slowed this pace to a crawl. If I hadn't said that I was at work when my knee went out, I would have already had a MRI and probably received the results today. Instead, I was still on the phone trying to get approval for one that I was told may take place at the end of next week, at the earliest.

I tried my damndest to workout today.  I just couldn't.  Within 5 minutes my knee was swollen and hurting. I know when to stop and today I had to stop.  It's driving me batshit crazy not being able to do the workouts that I had been accustomed to doing for the previous 35 days.

Something is gonna have to happen somewhere because I can't stand not doing it.  I'm still eating the same way that I was during this journey, I just can't workout like I was hoping to.  It's going to be a disappointing 60 day result if something can't change and quickly.  I'm not giving up just because of this damn knee, I just can't go as fast as I was. But I sure could go a hell of a lot faster if it weren't for this damn red tape with worker's comp.  Funny thing is, I tried from the start to NOT use worker's comp, but because it happened AT WORK, they're not giving me a choice.  What a system, eh?

Morning of day 37

I couldnt take another day of nothing. So I decided to try red hot core.

Granted, there were some things I couldn't do that required bending my knee too far but the leg lifts were fine because I was lifting with my abs not my legs, I tried but had the ugliest inverted table ever and my jackknife was a little lower than usual. On the final knee crunches I just did another round of scissor crunches instead, as having my legs extended hurt some, but not as much as if I tried to bend my right knee. One leg pushups are also interesting.

Maybe I'm stupid or hardheaded, but I can't just sit by and do nothing. Dally says "make it your own" so I did. Tomorrow I'll see what I can do with a longer workout. Until they fix my knee I'm gonna keep doing whatever it is I CAN do because, hell, I did nothing for long enough.

Day 36- Frustration and Disappointment

For those of you who read yesterday's post, you'll understand why I'm still not very happy.

I attempted to work my second job last night but finally at around 3 am, the pain and swelling were too much to take and I had to leave.  I got in to a specialist this morning and this is where the real fun began. They looked at it, said I needed a MRI (is there an echo in here?) and then when I explained I did it at work, they said they can't do anything else until worker's comp gets involved. I explained to them that I really wasn't interested in worker's comp being involved, I had insurance and that would be fine.  Well, they said no because when insurance saw it was done at work, they wouldn't cover it either.  Fantastic.

So, I go an make the calls I need to make.  Currently, I'm on the 4th person I was told to call. None of whom have helped me, one of whom has said she was going to call me back in a couple of hours, which is now 4 and she's no longer answering her phone. 

Today is the 36th day of my journey and the streak has been broken.  I physically can't workout as far doing DDPYoga, so I would like to see if there is any way to modify or do something else that will continue to help me on my journey, without putting the pressure on my knee.

Meanwhile, I'm going to continue to call and be given the never ending runaround. 

How was your Tuesday?

35 days-anger

I'm a pretty difficult person, but sometimes I think that my expectations are not unrealistic.

Bottom line, I'm quite angry with the local emergency room right now.

Today at work (yes, work on labor day) I took a wrong step and heard a crunch in my knee. I was in immediate pain and was hobbling around for the rest of the day (still am) and finally decided that I was headed to the ER because obviously, there were no clinics open.

I get there and get an x-ray. Then I'm taken into a room. (this is all over about two hours) In that room they tell me nothing is broken.  I said, "no shit, I didn't come in here for a broken leg" I was then told there was some serious swelling and it appeared there was some damage to something in the knee.  Again, I said "no shit, so when are we doing the MRI?" The response?

"We don't do MRI's, we leave that to specialists, so here are some crutches, a brace and some pain pills. "

To me, that is pretty irresponsible.  Why are you treating something you're unsure of what it is and wait a second, did you just say you don't do MRI's.?.......in a hospital?.....Ok....thanks.

Maybe I was irresponsible, but I left the crutches, the brace and the prescription sitting right there and walked out with no paperwork, no signing out, nothing.  Bottom line, they had done nothing for me.

I now have to attempt to go to my second job, which is going to be painful, because the local emergency room can't give me any actual treatment so I have to wait until tomorrow (hopefully) to get something done.

So am I angry?  You bet. Am I unsure about my future workouts?  Currently, yes. Do I think this venting is going to do anything to help?  Probably not, but we will see what tomorrow holds. As of right now, I'm still steaming mad.

34-confessions

So, I never should have talked about it last night, because tonight, it happened.  I had a work function to go to tonight, it was for the families and was at a bowling alley.  The kids all had a blast and it really was a good time by all. However, the only food option was.....yep, you guessed it....pizza.

That and the fact that I did eat 4 slices, is the bad news.  It was that or nothing, so I chose that and I did so with a smile on my face.....well, it was more of a smirk.

The good news, it was from a local grocery store's deli area, so in the grand scheme of things, nutrition wise, it could have been a lot worse.  It was thin crust and I got slices with vegetables on them (hey, it's something) and they came in at about 240 calories per slice.  Like I said, it could be worse.

Still didn't and haven't had soda (and won't.)  Still ate well and worked out earlier in the day.  So hey, shit happens. Sometimes you just can't help it. It wasn't from lack of willpower, it was that or go hungry, so I chose that.  That's what I'm learning daily from this, the choice is mine and I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. Bottom line.

Plus, I wore some damn sexy socks.

And I'm gonna bust my ass tomorrow. So yeah, there's my confessions.