First of all, the sheer amount of hours that I work. I worked 50 hours this week at my main job and another 16 at my second job. That's 66 hours for all you math majors. That alone is extremely difficult, physically, emotionally and to be honest, psychologically. Since Thursday, I've gotten roughly 6-8 hours of sleep....total. That doesn't help.
Also, I am in the absolute worst work situation at my main job that I've ever been in in my professional career. Not going to go into details, but its a mess and it is taking its toll.
We are extremely busy at my main job and keeping up with eating isn't going very well for me. I'm not eating poorly, actually I'm eating extremely well, when I do eat, I'm just not eating enough. At all. Jodi and I figured that over the last couple of days, I've had maybe.....1300 calories a day....and that's stretching it. I just haven't had the time to lay several small meals out that I would normally eat over a 10-12 hour day, so I'm usually eating once instead of the three times that I would actually like to. The issue with this, outside of the obviousness of needing fuel for my body, is that I'm getting cravings. Really bad cravings that I haven't had in a while in over a month. My biggest one.....pizza. Pizza was my favorite food. I could (and sometimes did) eat it 3-4 times a week. I haven't had any in at least 35 days, if not longer and with my body wanting food, it knows that it would get some satisfaction (even if temporary) from some cheese and pepperoni. I'm afraid if this keeps up too much longer I'm gonna end up on a pizza binge, which won't be good for me physically or mentally.
Not to keep piling it on, but I'm also going batshit crazy without a scale. Jodi says she's not going to buy one so I don't obsess over it and I've just been too damn busy to go get one myself. I'm damn sure that I'm in the 220's by now and I really want to see it. Ugh! So, yeah, maybe she's right, I'm obsessing over it and it isn't even here.
I'm going to have to figure out something pretty quickly with this food situation. I don't know if I should pack some protein shakes or bars to take to work just in case I can't get around to having an actual meal that I'd prefer or if I should just suck it up and deal with it when it happens. But right now, I'm really struggling with that. Everyone struggles with certain things. A lot of people just don't have the drive to do the workouts, that's not a problem for me, it's clockwork at this point. A lot of people just want to binge on crap, which is a small issue for me, but I've yet to do it (except that one time that was planned at the beginning of all this) but my biggest damn issue is, I just don't have the time available to eat enough.....how weird is that for someone trying to lose a pretty good amount of weight?
On the plus side, and since calories isn't a concern right now, I decided to buy a gluten free beer tonight. I was honestly expecting the worst. My thought was, you can mess with a lot of things and make them taste close to their original (tofu turkey anyone?) but beer was something you can't mess with. Well, honestly, I picked up New Grist pilsner style....and it is really, really good. It isn't helping my cravings for pizza, but I've realized there is something I can have, beer wise, that isn't going to be terribly awful for me, in moderation.
Judge me, don't judge me. I'm still gonna do what I set out to do, obstacles or not. But I'm sure gonna TRY to keep doing the right things. I don't want to chance of ruining all the great habits that I've gotten myself into just for one night of food satisfaction that will make me feel like shit after anyway.
Any of you smart foodies have a good recipe for healthy pizza? I'd love to hear it!!
Until then....cheers.
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